Miss Julianne loved her man
He was her one and only
Though Roman was his real first name
His Julie called him Romy
On Valentine's Day for a special treat
Romy took her out
To their favorite place down the street
Called the "Twist and Shout"
Romy wore his shark-skin suit
Julie wore her sable
After Romy slipped the waiter a 5
He gave them a table
Julie looked the menu over
And then began to order
Two soups, three steaks, a lobster tail
And then she just got bolder
Her finger flew down every page
A sight not for the faint-hearted
Romy gulped and turned quite pale
But Julie was just getting started
Asparagus, stewed prunes and rice
Pork chops and artichoke hearts
She ordered everything twice
And then came the dessert carts
Cheesecake, spice cake, cookies and pie
She ordered with abandon
Romy sat and started to cry
His face was ashen and then some
Then she was done, nothing was left
Although she searched ever harder
When the waiter looked at Romy at last
He said, "I'll just have water"
It took twelve waiters to bring it in
It was an amazing sight
Julie nibbled a cracker and said,
"I couldn't eat another bite"
The waiter stood tapping his foot
Romy wanted to vomit
The bill presented was three feet long
The total was astronomic!
Romy took his wallet out
His hand not quite still
Two fives, two tens, fourteen ones
And a copy of his will
So off to the kitchen they both went
Washing dishes to pay their debt
Because it was Valentine's Day
And Romy owed what Julie e't
